Sabby – Journeys

It is my week again. Wow, how did that go so quickly? Oh right. It went at the bottom of a candy dish on Halloween, handling jittery, strung out kids on said candy, conquering Mount Laundry for the first time in a year (WOOO!), raking through Leafmaggedon 2013, and rocking ladybug wings at work (in no particular order).

Have I lost any weight? No idea (FYI, I do not weigh myself often. Very freeing, that). Have I gained some strength? Sure! I am pushing, pulling and lifting heavier weights at the gym. I even did some cardio and it didn’t make my hip fall off. Can you tell I’m afraid of hurting it again? I still have not done a run outside.

I have jogged on the treadmill though. Baby steps.

I haven’t been to the gym this week because Women Stuff™. Let’s just say… I have had chocolate cravings so hard that if you stood between me and a box of Lindor truffles you would get cut, yo.

Carbs are my best friend. So are black pants. So yeah… Hormones. They suck.

But I don’t. Nope.

Why? Because I am still trying, still moving towards that goal of Strong. That is the focus. I’m not 100% on track, but I am working on it. Should I try harder? Yes. Am I? Also yes.

And that is the key. Working on it. This weight-loss, fitness-gain, life-improvement adventure is just that. An adventure. A Journey.

On journeys, we start, stop, linger, loiter, sometimes go back to get that thing we forgot in the last motel room (only me? Heh…) or sometimes we redo the journey because last time we didn’t see everything we wanted to do. Remember those cartoons from Family Circus that showed Billy’s path on important tasks?

Fitness is like that. Eating healthy is like that.

It is an up and down, sideways and backwards journey that if we accept as such, is not so onerous, nor as negative. Why? Because we have taken away the ability to feel like a failure if we aren’t a lower weight or a smaller size right away. If we enjoy the journey instead of leaping forward to what we want to have happen, we can be present in the moment and fully appreciate it for the success (or not) that it is. (I got that one from Oprah. Seriously, y’all, if you get a chance to see her speak, GO!!!!)

If we say (like I have been saying to myself of late) “It is ok, results take time. I can be patient. Celebrate the small steps as well as the big ones.” or “One {insert favorite treat} is not going to make me gain all that weight, I can do better with my next choice.” we have conquered.


As long as we are continuing (or restarting) on the journey, as long as we are moving towards the goal, we are doing it. Getting to there can be hard, and I know it is not easy to silence the inner critic and mean girl. We all have those days, weeks… I’m not being flippant or dismissive of the struggles I know we all have. I am trying to show a way to think about it to turn it around, focus on a positive way.

With all my pushing up in my brain lately, that is where I am. With trying to be happier, allowing myself to take happiness, allowing that to permeate into my goals and ideas, I have felt the shift to positivity. I may not have hit the gym yet this week, but I am still moving towards the goal. I haven’t given up. Hey, I said no to a lot of bad for me foods last week, and I said yes to others. But my pants still fit, and my brain is still clear. Ok, so my hormones are all whackadoodle… But that is temporary. And fixable. With wine and chocolate covered strawberries <place hint for husband here>.

It is a journey, and I am enjoying it. I hope you are too. ♥

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
Winston Churchill

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New way to walk

The first time I lost a lot of weight (40 lbs) I had started walking home from my high school. It took about half an hour every day.

The last time I was successful at losing a lot of weight (35 lbs) was before my wedding. I was a university student and I started riding our exercise bike every morning for half an hour or more. 

That thing that all the experts say about getting 30 minutes of exercise a day? Yeah. That works. 

I love my treadmill. I got it for Christmas a few years ago and I used it regularly for a while, and then things got difficult. The kid started walking so I couldn’t use it while she was around, and then I went back to work and my time was never mine any more. 

I had been going to the gym, but our schedule has changed and it’s harder to do that these days. What’s not hard is getting my iPad, loading up one of my shows and walking. Right now I’m catching up on Parenthood so I’m on the treadmill for 45 minutes.

Added to this the fact that I get a little giddy about my Fitbit telling me I’m a champ at the end of the day, and the fact that the dog has started getting angry with me on the days we don’t go for a longer walk, I’m feeling good. I’m also in that place where if I don’t get my exercise I feel noticeably worse. 

I love it.

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Sabby – Good Places

I have missed my last two posts. I have no excuse other than life got in the way. There is something about the month of September, that every year, things get a lil’ nutty. School starting, getting ready for the long cold winter, having that “New Year” feeling that makes you want to establish goals and have epiphanies while tromping through fallen leaves…

Add in some life events, some drama, some grief… and voila… *flail* I have, in vain, tried to define a theme song for the month of September (and part of October, it seems). This is what I can come up with:

You’re welcome. It was either this or the Hamster Dance, straight from 1997 Internet fame. Google it, I dare you. That is how nutty it has been. *nods*

Continue reading

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I missed my last post. Mostly, because I was dealing with a plague over our household. My husband and son dealing with “man colds” and my daughter and I both diagnosed and medicated for the treatment of pneumonia. The last thing I was thinking of was “healthy eating”. During some points in the last 2 weeks, I was just trying to get my daughter to EAT – so cooking her favourites was all that was on the menu. Those favourites included things that should not be on the menu of someone actively trying to lose weight (cough, cough, linguini, cough, cough chicken fingers, cough, cough, pizza). Yeah – when your already pip-squeek 3.5 year old (she is 30 lbs soaking wet!) says no to ice cream, you start feeding her whatever she will put in her mouth and swallow.

Needless to say, I was not in the mood to write about my “struggles” (to which there were many). 

Because not only was I eating not-so-great, but I was also unable to exercise. It’s tough to move a lot when it results in difficulty of breathing due to coughing…

So, I cut off all my hair and donated it – and although I was mostly proud of the fact that I was able to give 11 inches of hair to a fantastic cause, I was also kinda disappointed when I stepped on the scale last Monday and didn’t see a difference in the weigh (actually, I’m UP once pound!) Then I found out (at the post office) that all that beautiful hair I cut off… it only weighed .8 lbs… lol – I guess it felt thicker and heavier ON my head than it really was. 

But this past week, I slowly got back to moving. I ran and did an intense 1 hour bootcamp and then had a zombie run obstacle course on Saturday with some of my friends. 

About 1 km through the obstacle course, while attempting to cut away from a zombie, I heard a “pop” in my calf and couldn’t continue the race. 

NOW I’m bummed. Because it is time to get serious with this food thing… especially now that I won’t be able to do all the moving I have grown to love! I’m looking into the idea of joining a farming coop and really hoping it doesn’t result in too many fights with the kids (and the husband) over trying new foods. I’m thinking, worst case scenario, my bullet sees much more use with smoothies if need be…

But enough with the excuses… it is time to do this and follow through.

What do you do when you feel unmotivated and catch yourself constantly find excuses?



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Starting over

It has been weeks since I last posted, weeks of pain and inactivity. Initially I had knee pain that had me visiting a physio a few times a week. I have a very tight IT band which is causing me pain in my knee.I thought my knee pain was bad but I had no idea. One night while getting up off the couch to put my kids to bed I managed to slip a disk in my back. That reduced my activity to nil for weeks. The first 1.5 weeks I fluctuated from a bit of pain, to so much pain I felt nauseous. After that things seemed to settle but I was feeling a bit gun shy on the exercise thing. When my back went out I was doing a combo of weight lifting and yoga. Not sure which one (if any) contributed to my condition, so I chose not to do any for a while.

In the mean time I gained weight. (Isn’t this the perfect storm of wonderful!). Gained enough weight to put myself into the “most I have ever weighed non pregnant” category. That is not good for my knee, not good for my back, and especially, not good for my self esteem.

I want to lose that weight, and more. I want to feel good again. I want my clothing to fit again. But I am starting slow with walking. I am going to work on walking a few times a week. I expect that after a few weeks I will reintroduce weight lifting. I miss it. More than I expected to. I will be starting at the beginning of my training program, but I am okay with that. I need to build up my strength slowly, and I need to remind myself that this program is not a race. I need to take my time and repeat it as much as I need to. I think rushing it may have been what got me into this mess in the first place.

How are you doing with your training plan?

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Bloated bliss

Last weekend I attended Blissdom Canada. The conference was awesome for me – I got inspired, I met great people and made connections.

What the conference was not great for was my activity and diet. Teh actual meals were not bad. I had a great salmon at the hotel restaurant, salad both lunches and a wonderful lentil soup that I’m trying to get the recipe for. But…

Every sponsor offered treats. There were cookies and tarts and bowls of candy. Freshbooks even had maple sugar on a stick. The best/worst was the Tim Hortons suite. Doughnuts and coffee on demand. I made a conscious decision not to just take one of everything.

I woke up the second morning and my body was telling me that I had most definitely overindulged. The two cans of Coke, one Pepsi, two doughnuts and three cups of coffee, plus M&Ms were not agreeing with me.

Out of the three days of the conference I got my 10,000 steps once – the day of the dance party. I love to dance, no matter how bad I might be, and I rocked out for a good hour.


Since we got home I have been totally exhausted and again missing my steps. On Tuesday I had two naps. Seriously.

I was doing really well, I took a step back, and now I have to focus. It’s not just about getting things done in my life and my work, my body has to fit in to the equation too.

Not only do I have to do it, I can.

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Biting the bullet

I’ve been changing things little by little over the past few weeks, working on controlling myself better, eating better, sleeping better, moving more.

It hasn’t been easy, especially with the kid starting preschool and trying to create a whole new routine while fighting a cold.

But a few weeks ago I ordered a Fitbit – which is something I think the women on this blog have written about before. It’s just a little thing that I clip onto my clothes and get on with my day. I bought the Zip, which tracks my steps, my calories burned and the level of my activity. You can get more expensive ones that track more.

Since I started wearing the Fitbit about a week ago I have become very interested in the information it gives me. I have been pushing myself to get my steps in every day. I have been very excited to see the big smiling happy faces that show up when I’ve done well.

They make me giddy, it’s kind of embarrassing.

Getting my steps has encouraged me to walk around the house tidying at the end of the day, take the dog for longer walks, and get back on my treadmill.

It’s nice to have a bit of a daily kick in the pants.

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