Months ago, I signed up for the Hypothermic Half, inspired by all of the half-marathons that Jennifer ran last fall. Last Sunday was the day and I woke up – mostly hadn’t slept – feeling awful. I got myself to the starting line, though. To make a long story short, I ran a while and then I stopped.
I said many things to myself on the long trip home – travelling from The Marshes in Kanata to the east end where I live by public transit – gave me lots of time for reflection. Much of what I said was unquestionably and entirely true. Other statements certainly had a kernel of truth. None were particularly kind to me and yet some implied that I am not entirely responsible for myself. I stewed mostly silently. I suffered the embarrassment of not meeting a goal without comment. (Pride is an awful thing!)
On Monday night, during my weekly call for the Reasonable Diet program, Sandra Ahten talked us through how to deal with a craving that is counter to our intention of eating to lose weight. She said to approach it as though it were our kids asking to go through a drive-in. We’d tell them “no” right? We’d explain that we had healthy food at home and remind them of the nutritious food they’d eaten recently. We might offer to play “I Spy” or listen to a favourite CD. We wouldn’t give in to pleading that tried to get us to deviate from our plan. Through it all, we would be kind.
I’ve been working on re-framing the experience in my conversations with myself. I’m trying to listen to the truths but find the positive next step. I’m calling B.S. on the excuses that I made because they undermine me and my ability to do it differently next time.
Tale of the Scale
I lost a pound early in this two-week period and have sat steady. I’m starting a two-period of “clean eating”. I’m giving up caffeine, refined sugar and sweeteners, white flour and white bread. Unfortunately, I’m not sure that they’ll give up on me easily. I’m going to limit my intake of processed foods – once I figure out what that means to me. Canned beans and canned tomatoes and soup broth figure prominently in what I eat. It’ll be a work in progress. Just like I am.
Thank goodness for skiing! If only I could go more. Work can be inconvenient sometimes :) Reid and I almost skated in the Energizer Night Skate but inclement weather meant only kids were allowed onto the Rink of Dreams. I’m recommitting to the gym and would love a lunchtime gym buddy, if you’re downtown.