Insider tips

At a too late hour last night (this morning?) it occurred to me that I’ve been sitting on a wealth of insider tips that I really should be sharing! It’s taken me quite a while to realize that my ‘regular’ routine is actually a gem of a workout. I forsee millions in my future!

Exercise regimen of mom of 3yo:
(Don’t have a three year old? With a little tweaking can be adapted for life with a cat/dog/SO/imaginary friend – contact me for details *g*)

Unexpected arm curls:
Live with a magpie whose latest obsession is stuffing rocks into every pocket, purse, bag and pillow. Start to tidy and be constantly surprised by the heft of these items.

Off-road workout:
Bring the umbrella stroller to a picnic. Not only are the small wheels perfect for digging in to the ground, you’ll also find resistance in the mud, fields of hay, trying to keep it upright over rocky terrain, and let’s not forget the bucking child who DOES. NOT. WANT. TO. SIT! Augment this by weighing yourself down like a pack mule with camera bag, snacks, change of clothes etc.

Let child ride bike. Make sure training wheels are loud enough that said child cannot hear your shrieks of horror as they tear off down the middle of the street. You in the meantime are of course walking, no dragging, a 9-year old husky behind you. The extra drag of a cool weather dog not wanting to run in the heat is good for your heart, and balances out the heart attacks you’re having.

Simple stretching:
Pick up silly band, pick up next silly band, pick up next silly band – oh! don’t forget that one! Once you tire of the lunges, start picking them up with your toes. It’s almost like yoga.

Put child in minivan. Believe them when they say they want to climb in their own seat. Watch said child disappear into far reaches of vehicle. Sprint to back and pop open trunk just in time to watch them clamber over front seat and start beeping horn. (added bonus if this occurs before 6am or after 11pm – DON’T JUDGE ME!) Race to front…and you see where this is going. Extra skill – run after child *IN* minivan and still not catch them.

These are well, normal squats. But done in the shower. Just to verify you aren’t overdoing it, make sure you can still hold a normal conversation. This can be accomplished by explaining your exercise routine to your child who has just burst into the bathroom and asks why you’re doing the poopy dance.

Stretching, strength, cardio, aerobic, anaerobic I think I’ve got a full program but I’ll skip the DVD.

Coreen is a geriatric mother living with her husband (hubby) and 3.5 year old daughter (V). She works in IT Security but doesn’t yet know what she wants to be when she grows up. She also blogs at One Day this Blog will have a Snazzy Name (and is open to naming suggestions because really.)

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8 Responses to Insider tips

  1. Lara says:

    OMG I was laughing so hard. Fun post!! Thanks :)

  2. Tracii says:

    Thanks for the giggle!!

  3. Sasha says:

    Awww, come on. I’d buy that DVD in a heartbeat. And why adapt this for life with SO etc? We should form a consortium of moms willing to hire out their todders & preschoolers. For a modest fee, of course.

    Thanks for the laugh. I definitely burned a few calories on that.

  4. Karen says:

    I think laughing at this post should be considered exercise too. Just how many calories can one burn that way?

  5. Deb says:

    LOL This is awesome! And I can relate to almost all of them too – especially the loud training wheels and shreaks of horror.

  6. sherrilynne7 says:

    This made me LOL for real! Thanks!

  7. Pingback: Barbara – No one plans to become unhealthy | Losing It In Ottawa

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