Do you remember the moment? That made you give up on yourself? Start exercising? Throw out the scale? Get fit? Want to hide in a corner and cry?
I’ve been fat for over ten years now. There are a lot of ‘ah-ha’ and ‘AHHH’ moments. The moments that tipped the scale in favour of throwing in the towel on my exercise and eating habits. The moments that spurred me into action.
When I was 22, my husband was on the periphery of a tragedy. I was at work one late Sunday afternoon when I got a call on my cell phone. The first words out of his mouth were “I’m okay. I’m safe. I’m fine”. He had taken the dogs for a walk in the riverbed, the riverbed where we spent our summers wading in the water and sunbathing. A hydro damn opened unexpectedly and a mother and her son were killed. My husband left the riverbed moments before the damn opened.
We were married five days later in a garden, surrounded by only our closest family and a handful of friends. It was a Thursday afternoon in July. All that mattered was that we loved each other. Life was too precious to wait.
The day we were married I was the heaviest I have ever been. I wore a lacy white dress and my hair and make-up had been done professionally. Yet there is only one photo in our house of that day. My disgust with how I looked overshadows one of the most important moments in our life because I’m too embarrassed to look at the pictures. When I see the photo, hidden away on the dresser in our room, it reminds me of what I want from my life. Photos everywhere, a life on display, to be proud of who I am and what I look like.
When the monkey was 3 months old I decided that it was time to get in shape. I joined a mom and baby fitness class that ran twice a week while the firefighter was in preschool and then decided that I would load both kids into the beastly Graco double stroller and join a local Strollercise group.
On the first morning we arrived early. It was sunny and warm. There was a group of 15 moms assembled and ready to head off. I was nervous about coming without friends but figured with a large group there’d be plenty of people to talk to.
I was the only one there with a double stroller. The instructor started talking about the learn-to-run component of the program. Run? When I checked the website it described walking, jogging, or running.
We headed off, a pack of strollers, down the side-walk. As pairs of friends pushed by with their single strollers, I soon found myself at the back of the pack. I was the last to cross a nearby intersection. We headed off into the nearby neighbourhood and soon the entire group started to jog. No one, including the instructor, looked back. I tried jogging but I was out of shape and double strollers aren’t meant for speed. Especially when they’re packed with two kids and all the necessary supplies. The group soon turned a corner. No one stopped. The instructor never wavered. I eventually turned around and went home.
Obviously I was too fat to exercise. What was the point? A week later I dropped out of the exercise class too.
What was your turning point? What happened to ignite your losing it journey? Or stall it? What do you tell yourself to get through those moments?
Getting Down to Business
1. Lose an average of 1.5 pounds a week: Oh the power of community. I was bummed about not losing any weight this week. Really bummed. This is what the post originally read “Fail. Again. Hence the need for some inspiration this week. No gain, no loss. Unbelievably frustrating given my activity level and caloric intake (in comparison to the previous six months).”
After virtual cheer-leading and a few reality checks I’m still disappointed. But not as much. Yesterday I shopped for clothes at Old Navy. It’s not a fat girl store. That’s how I’ll measure my success this week!
2. Use a food journal every day: Every calorie gets logged into Spark People. Because by the time lunch comes, I have forgotten what I ate for breakfast and a morning snack. When I don’t write it down, its easy to lie about what I actually ate.
3. Discover new and healthy ways to snack: How did I ever live without vache qui rit cheese? And rice crackers?
4. To meal plan and try at least 1 new recipe a week: I bought several roasts (on sale) and then called one of my best friends and she walked me through preparing a roast in a crock pot with onions, carrots, and potatoes. It was delicious!
5. To exercise for 3 hours a week:
I’m pretty pleased with myself this week. I was active for almost 4 hours and I finished the 3rd week of Couch 25k.
Sunday – Day off
Monday – Week 3, Day 1, Couch 25k (20 minutes walk/run intervals)
Tuesday – Jillian Michaels No More Trouble Zones DVD (40 minutes)
Wednesday – 40 Minute Powerwalk (4 KM), Pushing stroller (75 lbs)
Thursday – Week 3, Day 2, Couch25k (20 minutes walk/run intervals), 60 minute Hatha yoga class
Friday – Walked 4 km (4o minutes)
Saturday – Week 3, Day 3, Couch 25k (20 minutes walk/run intervals), Walked 3.5 km (45 minutes)
6. To incorporate mindfulness and meditation into my daily life: How about weekly? 60 minutes of Hatha counts!