Today we’d like to introduce you to Katie, a wife and mom who’s been blogging about scrapbooking over at Kataroo’s Kitchen for four years. Katie more recently started So Write to chronicle her journey to better health; a journey that won’t include a scale. Read on (and don’t forget to link up below)!
Okay, I have to admit this post might seem a little out there for a blog on losing weight and getting healthy. But I ask you to trust me and to go along for a read. I did something drastic recently, something frightening and maybe even a little crazy. I threw my scale out! I actually picked up that awful hunk of metal and carried it down the stairs and out the door and placed it on top of the trash on trash day. I even took a picture of it LOL.
I have fought a lifelong battle with that scale. I have stood on that hunk of metal since I was 16 years old waiting for it tell me if I am worthy that day. Worthy of what…love…respect…happiness? Trust me the outcome was hardly ever happy. I had an eating disorder most of my teenage and young adult life: Bulimia. I won’t go into the horrors of that story here today. I was about 25 years old when I had finally beat the Bulimia to the curb, coincidentally the same place my scale recently landed. I felt free, for the first time in years weight and food was no longer an obsession. I ate what I wanted for the first time I think in my life. I also stopped being active (uh oh). I very quickly gained weight. I went from a size 4 to a 22 by the time I turned 30. I have to tell you though that I was happier and more confident at a size 22 then I was at a size 4. In some ways my image distortion had reversed. At a size 22 when I looked in the mirror I was shocked to see the fat girl staring back at me. I didn’t feel like a fat girl.
A couple years ago I tried my hand at losing weight, having gotten fed up with that shocked feeling when I looked at pictures of myself, and the difficulty finding clothing I liked that fit a chubby girl. I tried weight watchers. I think Weight Watchers is a very healthy and sensible approach to losing weight. I truly believe there is a reason why the first 3 letters in the word diet spell DIE. I lost a good amount of weight on weight watchers and got myself down to a size 16. I tell you the feeling of wearing those size 16 jeans was like pulling an orgasm on each time! It felt DAMN GOOD! Unfortunately, the good feeling was short lived. I soon discovered that the problem with ME following the WW program was that many of the habits were very similar to my eating disordered habits. The counting of points was like counting calories, the recording of what I ate, the weighing in (although the program had you do it once a week, I was doing it daily). I soon found a way to cheat on the program. I would use the majority of my points on 100 cal chocolate bars and then eat zero point soup. I turned a healthy way of eating into a DIEt and ended up in the good…bad…all…or nothing trap again. The weight loss was not lasting and I gained back all the weight I had lost and more.
About 4 months ago I joined a gym. There were a few reasons behind this catalyst, most of them just adding up to wanting to FEEL GOOD. In joining the gym I really believe I discovered an athlete hiding in this chubby girl’s body. I amazed myself with what this 200 pound plus plus girl could do. I was working out 5-6 days a week. I was pumping, spinning, running, and doing combat.
So with all this awesome stuff happening how on earth did the scale end up at the curb? Let me tell you how. On the scale’s ill-fated day, I had just finished an awesome 4km run (the furthest I had run at that point, I have now managed 10km.) Not only had I had an awesome run, but one of the gym’s trainers came up to me and gave me a high five for a great run. I was flying! I felt so good about myself. NOW LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I DID. I walked into the change room right after that, took off my running shoes and stood before the scale. I was actually going to stand on the scale after that. Why? Did I not believe how awesome I felt, did I NEED the scale to verify that indeed I really ran 4km? What if I weighed a pound more, was I going to let the scale take all that away from me? NO.
Right there and then I knew I was done. The scale and I were over. I knew that I would fair better with measuring or marking my SUCCESS with more meaningful measures. So now I celebrate not the pounds lost, but the adding of 2 pounds of weight to the bicep track in pump, running further, spinning harder, my clothing size shrinking, or carrying my children without my back hurting.
I admit that for the first few days I would find myself over in that corner of the bathroom ready to face the music only to find that the scale was gone. So Instead I would tell myself that I felt 10 pounds lighter that day. Yep 10 pounds lighter!
How is your journey to better health going? Link up here: