Someone pointed out that its 10 days till RACE DAY, I would really like to thank that person for igniting a PERFECT STORM OF NERVES in my belly! 10 days! In my head I had been happily floating along thinking two weeks of tapering, and not really thinking about the big day. NOT ANYMORE!
In many ways I wish I could run the race this weekend, I feel ready now…and I worry that I won’t be ready 10 days from now. I worry that as I do this thing called tapering that I am not doing enough, I worry that I am doing to0 much, I worry that I am going to finally lose that damn toenail!
So the wait is on and in the meantime I am keeping myself busy. My husband was away this week and it was also a very busy week for me in terms of my personal training business. I had a lot of organizing to do with the kids and arranging childcare for them while I was out on appointments. I am really thankful for great friends helping me make this easier. The girls had a lot of fun which is awesome, they also had some really early mornings and late nights. I think I passed out shortly after them each night this week. Usually a week like this would ignite a ball of anxiety in me. I have suffered from anxiety almost all my life, and “CHANGE” is usually a big trigger for me. But I am really surprised to say that I had a great week. I took each “well organized” day one step at a time and thought to myself…YOU CAN DO THIS KATIE. Just like when I am out on a really long run and I hit that wall and I chant YOU CAN DO THIS!
I can hardly believe I WILL BE DOING THIS. When I talk about it, even with relative strangers, I get teary eyed! On my last run, one of my motivational songs came on and I cried like a baby. So I switched songs not wanting to blubber my way through my run and instead got all FIRED UP INSIDE…I was bopping along hand jiving, and shaking my booty. When I passed fellow runner’s I didn’t just give them the usual wave, I gave them a virtual high vive Kataroo Style! I think I scared one lady…oops :)
I know I have mentioned it before, but this thing…running a marathon…has been written down in my diaries again and again. I have a dusty hope chest in my bedroom filled with diaries from my youth and I guantee you will see run a marathon written down in almost everyone of them. When I think of those diaries I think of how far I have come from a young girl struggling with Bulimia and having no self worth, to an obese and happy adult still struggling to find her way, to this crazy cat you see in front of you today. Did you know I celebrated my 2nd year FIT-iversary last week? Yep two years ago I started moving, and it all started with 10 min on the treadmill. I remember running my first race 5km race at the Army Run at maybe a size 20? and thinking “WATCH THIS FLAB FLY” I felt fit and fast!
I have run 1, 358 miles or so since starting 2 years ago. I swear everyone of those steps as helped heal me, and made me stronger. Each one of those miles has taught me that I can do anything I put my mind too, and that I can push past my insecurities and self doubt. This journey has also gifted me with the most amazing network of support, incredible friends that lift me up.
So my friends, help give me some goosebump power on the day of the race and in the comments below leave your POWER SONG…I want to add them to my Marathon Playlist. (My running friend Amanda did this and it was such a cool idea)
I also want to wish Jenn an amazing first Marathon, and Barbara an incredible half-marathon….10 days ladies :) I also have two friends running their first half marathons, Jenn and Rob wishing you a great race. My husband, Ryan is also running the half and it feels weird not to have him at the start line with me, wishing him an awesome race too.