Even though I try really hard to focus on the journey and not the end result in most cases, some part of me still hopes for that miracle cure to get me where I want to be. I’m not proud to admit that in that quest I’ve undertaken some pretty incredible measures, from fasting to cleanses to flushes to diet pills.
I haven’t travelled down that shady road in a few years now and I’ve managed to make health and strength my priority versus the number on the scale. At least, I thought I had turned that corner only to find myself startled this week with disappointment due to results I wasn’t prepared to see.
We had our 4 week Booty Camp assessment on Monday night and while I opted out of doing it in front of a crowd (are you NUTS?) I had taken my measurements and weight at home on the initial start date. The only part I couldn’t measure was the fat caliper which helps you calculate body fat percentage.
So, standing in my bathroom buck naked, I weighed in and rolled out the measuring tape. I had my pen and paper poised at the ready to tally these awesome losses. My expectations were for an 8-10lb loss and several inches to be gone, specifically off my waist (which is my nemesis area.)
I measured, then re-measured. This could not be right. My clothes are looser, I feel stronger, my stomach is definitely, for sure, without a doubt, flatter. I’ve lost 6 lbs and 6 inches. Not one of those inches is from my waist or arms. What the what what??
I lost 3 inches from my chest (I’m considering this back fat and not actual boobage. I don’t want to lose boobs so I will call it what I want!) and 2 inches from my hips. Considering I don’t have much of a booty and I’m not pear shaped, this is again semi-surprising. The last inch is from my thighs, which is great, but my legs are sort of my “showpiece” if you will so I wasn’t too concerned with them. Let me repeat: arms and waist? Nada.
I immediately felt disappointed. Here I am killing myself at Bootycamp twice a week, I’m sugar and alcohol free except for a once a week cheat night, I’m working out 6 days a week hard-core, and I’ve only lost 6 lbs and 6 inches??? Yes, there may have been some cursing and even a few tears of frustration.
I immediately took to my support systems via www.myfitnesspal.com, my friends and my sister who is a fellow Bootycamp recruit, and asked them all to talk me off of a ledge. Dang I hang around with smart, encouraging people! They absolutely and totally gave me some much-needed perspective!
In a nutshell, I’m a little “Type A” perfectionist. A loss of 6 lbs and 6 inches is fantastic in 4 weeks because it’s a healthy way to lose and I’m gaining lean muscle. If I had done the body fat percentage, I probably would have also seen a loss there to show for my hard work. Where is the disappointment in weighing less and being more fit than I was a month ago? That’s right, there isn’t any.
Barbara talked about speaking to ourselves kindly here, http://losingitinottawa.wordpress.com/2012/01/30/barbara-talking-kindly-to-myself/ and she’s so very right. My friends pointed out that had any one of them come to me and said they’d lost that amount of weight or inches in 4 weeks, I’d be ecstatic for them and I’d tell them to keep going because they were doing INCREDIBLE. So, why can’t I give myself the same kudos instead of this critical self-talk?
After camp that night, I felt much, much better about my results. I realized that this might not take me a month or two or even three. It’s going to take as long as it’s going to take for me to get where I ultimately want to be. That’s okay. All of the efforts and all of the work is paying off and will continue to improve my health, regardless of what it says on the scale or a tape measure. I FEEL fantastic, doubly so with the insanely supportive team pushing me and holding my hand.
I have another 4 weeks of BootyCamp to go, and I’m going to continue to work hard and give it my all. I’ve tweaked my diet as well, lowering some of my carb intake since my every snack seems to consist of crackers with a protein, in some shape or form. I also really have to get my sleeping issues (or lack thereof) under control and aim for at least 7 hours a night. Lastly, I promise to treat myself as kindly as I’d treat others and to not expect perfection from myself, just a strong, concerted effort.
This is about SO much more than weight and fitness for me. It’s a whole mindset that needs shifting and sorting. I’m moving forward bit by bit, piece by piece.
One step closer.