SUCH a great film. With my favourite quote: “Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it.”
So true. And thus…you have my final post of 2011.
Was last year a wash, a waste, something to dismiss? No. Way. In fact, I DON’T like that is implies that this past year was a year with a lot of mistakes. 2011 was anything but a year full of mistakes. How could it be? We have a new and beautiful home. We are thrilled with the new community of friends we now have. We both have wonderful jobs that pay very good salaries. We have our health, and great families, amazing friends, and our love. … And speaking of love, we have two stunningly cute, spirited, fun and well-behaved joy-inspiring little monsters, Alexandra and Hailey.
I’m POSITIVE you want to see them, right?
So yeah. Goooooood year!
But, looking back (as one does for these types of posts), I really think this was the best year of my life. Others, had they lived what I have lived (and compared to other, fantastic years I have had in this very blessed life of mine), would be surprised by this statement. My daughter went through surgery. We had to adjust to a LOT of change. And let’s face it – it has been HARD at times to cope with all I have had on my plate! But if I crunch that against my two little ones giggling as they play hide and seek behind the curtains, or if I juxtapose the latest development where my little ones compete with one another to be the first to give me a hug, well….all that other ‘stuff’ is just contrast to pull into focus the sheer joy I experience everyday.
Okay, so anyways. What does all of this have to do with Anne of Green Gables, then? Well, of course, it applies to my level of health, my diet, and my ability to change what I CAN change and what I WANT to change about myself (I mean, I blog on this Losing it in Ottawa blog, right?). Yes, I was crazy busy raising twin babies and I had a LOT of GREAT excuses. (I have even almost conceded that in many cases, my excuses were valid ones, and that beating myself up over a lack of ability to achieve fitness and diet goals in this year in particular was unfair to myself and was unnecessarily making me upset – ok, ok….filled with self-loathing.) But, when all is said and done, I spent a lot of time (what little time I had) feeling crappy about myself. Berating myself for failed attempts to choose a salad over fries. Spending evenings on the couch, THINKING about being active, but just not having it in me to get up and out the door. Drying myself off after a shower, looking at myself in the mirror, and saying – sometimes out loud – “I’m not THAT fat.”
So here goes. Tomorrow? (And next week, month, and year)… I DON’T want to live my life by the words of Anne Shirley, or indeed Miss Stacey. I don’t think that I want to even focus on mistakes at all! What I DO want to focus on is how FRESH each day is, and how lucky I am to be in that moment. I want to focus on having fun. Feeling good. Being active. Losing the guilt. Stopping the negativity. Accepting my faulty choices, and those many days (and there will be many) that I am not active. Choosing to think of ‘mistakes’ instead as learning, or blips, or hiccups or just LIFE! I don’t want to have expectations. I wanna roll with it, baby. (Anyone love Ani Difranco here?)
In short (much shorter than the above), I want to wake up each morning, and think not “Today is fresh, with no mistakes in it!”, but “Today is so very very FRESH, and that’s just awesome!”
I’m betting that at the end of 2012, I will be happier, healthier, lighter and much more fun than I am now. (And I base this prediction on a number of factors, but partially on the fact that in the last two weeks I have given myself a ‘pass’ on expectations of diet and exercise, and it’s like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Now let’s be clear… I have literally let my diet and exercise disappear, which is NOT what I predict will accompany my new ‘fresh’ attitude, but then again, it has been Christmas and I have been baking, and eating, and jollying. Different thing!)
I want to approach 2012, and each month of 2012, and week of 2012, and day of 2012, with a fresh outlook.
So how about it? Are you in?